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View Full Version : A Heartfelt Thank You - and Reminiscing


brandonmichael5
03-31-2010, 04:29 AM
To the Band:

I fully appreciate the role your songs have played in my life since I stumbled across your music. I feel a little dirty for it, but I joined the club back with Stunt (along with the rest of the world). Nevertheless, even at this point so early on in my experience with your work, I developed a relationship of sorts.

Of this album, the memory I favor isn't a happy one necessarily. I was in High School. My best friend and I had begun searching for ourselves spiritually. We found a nice little Christian church to see what it was about. After a few Sundays, during a particular service, I had my first and only panic attack (even to this day). I'm not even sure why it happened - but I had to leave the building and recuperate - grabbing the keys to his truck on the way out. My friend stayed not knowing what was wrong as I reclined back in the passenger seat of his truck. I watched the clouds move by through the branches of a tree. Stunt was in his CD player, I had worked on memorizing the lyrics to 'One Week' on the way there (A skill I one day mastered). I skipped to the end of the album to 'When You Dream' and listened. I've never encountered a more soothing song. It calmed me as I sat wondering. I can still feel that if I try. (And for some fun fact information, the spiritual searching led to agnosticism, weird huh?)

Not long after, I realized there was a new BNL album out - Everything to Everyone. I fell in love with it (in the sense that the music made me feel emotions, something I wasn't accustomed to). This may be the album I run to when I want to be happy (and for good reason, it's just full of fun tunes). But the first time I remember tearing up because of a song was with 'War on Drugs'. Mind you, my finding the music of BNL started out my musical journeys. Near the same time, I took up playing guitar and songwriting myself. This is also the album that brings up the awkwardness of being in a classroom full of high school girls and your best friend (no joke, just us two and about 10 attractive co-students - which made 'Maybe Katie' fit just right... it wasn't a popular class, we wrote the weekly school paper).

After this, I decided I was cool enough to own every BNL album in existence. I searched out and bought everything before Stunt. I enjoyed every second if the search, and the listening. I realized that Stunt felt fabricated. All of the old stuff is what taught me who you all were, your personalities - not just entertainment but pieces of your lives. And I continued to search that out in your songs (and am doing it to this day with All In Good Time).

I continued buying everything you put out - and forcing friends to listen to it when I had control of the music. That's what you do with your favorite band.

'Have You Seen My Love' was a great thing to learn and play for a girl - especially one who invented a fictional character in one of her personal writings that plays instruments and writes music and plays music. That one was basically put in my lap, guys.

Fast-forward to the college years (within which I still reside) and my first big break up occurs. Guess what song brings this memory to life? 'Polliwog in a Bog'. That's right. There is no better sing-along song to sing to when you're feeling something new and undesirable. It has the same effect as watching the Saturday morning cartoons of your childhood.

These are only snippets. I probably have memories attached to every song in the BNL library. Not only memories, but emotions. Which leads me to something else I feel I need to get off my chest...

brandonmichael5
03-31-2010, 05:02 AM
After watching Steven's interview on Q TV...

I latched on to something he said. He didn't expect this (the loss of a band member) to be so big. He was amazed at the fan reaction. He noted the Fans had become outspoken and seemed to be grieving (and admitted it's a huge thing, really). And I wondered why? Maybe you all should know, though I'm sure you could guess. So, from my perspective:

Music plays a certain role in some people's lives. It's something to turn to, something to relate to - something that seems to understand us, or we can understand it. As a fan or a listener, you develop a connection - actually you develop a number of connections to:

The music itself
The Band members
The memories around it all

And after a long enough time, these connections build up into something strange - like I may have said earlier, it becomes a relationship. Those three things are such a large part of us (as fans of a good amount of time) that we actually find ourselves in it. I might not be able to speak for everyone, but I have been a fairly outspoken BNL fan for a while, it's a part of my personality almost. Your music expresses me so well, that it's become a part of me (and I'd bet I'm not the only one).

So with all these weird connections - it makes it somewhat personal when something bad goes down. Not only do we mourn the loss of the music as it were - but we can feel a small bit of what you all feel. Just listening to 'You Run Away' can bring a knowledgeable fan to a certain emotion - like being at a funeral but ~possibly~ worse. Why? Because we feel it for everyone. This had to impact everyone of you in the band, Steven included. Hell, none of us wanted to see his name dragged through the mud. None of us wanted anything bad for any of you. You get that nasty feeling that it just didn't have to be like this. And we will never know what it is really like, or what really went down as fans - but that doesn't mean we can't join in with the anger and sadness. Whatever it was, it's something that changed lives (drastically or not). For us, it's a loss - a loss of those three things we were connected to. The music will never be the same. The Band will never be the same. And the memories attached to it all seem even more distant.

But like with any other loss, there is a way to find hope and meaning. We all find it in our own way - and I'm glad to see the band is still together. Change doesn't have to be a bad thing in the end. I wish you all the best, and I would appreciate the continued pouring of yourselves into your music. (And thank you again - you all have lives and families and it takes time to make music).

One more thing... I'm sorry Ed. If this hit anyone harder than the rest (family aside), it seems like you would be the one. Losing a friend is hard - I know. I've gone through something similar with the friend from the earlier mentioned memories (not long ago at all). And man, what happened to you is so much bigger. I'd hate to have to go through that. I hope you two stay friends, in one way or another. I hope you all do.

TequilaMockingbird
03-31-2010, 02:19 PM
Brandon,

Not to get your hopes up, but I'm not an official member of the band or related to them in any significant way - I'm just a devoted fan, like you and so many others. That said, I was very moved reading your post(s) above, and I think I can relate in some aspects. Hopefully I don't come across as too confusing, shallow, cliched, etc...

You're right in believing that everyone associates certain music to certain periods of their lives. I think it's something we all do to help with reminiscing (sp?) as a whole. For me, an example comparable to yours is listening to Queen during my own high school years. I'm not ashamed to admit that I was an introverted dork during my freshman and sophomore years, and songs like "Save Me", "Now I'm Here", and especially "Somebody to Love" did a lot to help me through that part of my life. When I listen to that band now at the tender age of 25 (going on 26 in a couple of months), I don't necessarily think of those years in high school immediately, but that kind of music does have a way of calming me on some subconcious level, I guess. Point being, I can completely understand you're own, unique connection to songs like "When You Dream", "Have You Seen My Love" (great, underrated song, that), and "Maybe Katie."

I more want to give my own thoughts on your second part where you mourn the loss of the BNL that once was. I think it's generally understood by the band, the fans, even the media that after a series of serious events - Ed's plane crash and mother dying, Steve's drug bust and departure from the band - the band needed to change. I think Ed even admitted that in one or two recent interviews; how there was a good year or so where he and the others seriously asked themselves 'Where do we go from here?' and generally if they even *could* continue to be the same BNL so many have loved and followed for so long. The obvious answer to that is no, but I don't believe that was an easy place to get to.

I know that you and many others are saddened that things can never go back to being the same for the band, but I ask you to be hopeful. It might be a bit of a longshot, but compare BNL to The Beatles in the sense that each band went through their own change in musical identity; perhaps All In Good Time is BNL's version of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Each band had a huge fan base that loved their music for what it was, and I'm sure there were some back in the day that questioned the change from "I Want to Hold Your Hand" to "A Day in the Life." This isn't to say that BNL will unquestionably enjoy the same musical growth that The Beatles did beginning with Pepper, but it is to say that, as you correctly said, change can be good. Your memories of the band in years past may be distant, but they will never go away as long as you don't let them, and because of that, you have a foundation to be hopeful about what the band as a whole becomes in this 'new chapter' they've deemed for themselves.

I'm sure that Ed, Jim, Kevin, and Tyler will continue to express themselves in the music they'll continue to create in the future. If I had to title this little diatribe of mine, I would come back to one word: hope. And I ask you to have that now. I know you said yourself that change doesn't have to be a bad thing, but your overall tone is that of mourning a loss. The music of the past will never be lost; history has a way of sealing an era, not erasing it. I ask you to continue being hopeful, and join myself and others in welcoming this new era for the Barenaked Ladies.

Hoping all of that came out ok,
-TM

Appleblossom28
03-31-2010, 10:21 PM
Brandon,

Not to get your hopes up, but I'm not an official member of the band or related to them in any significant way - I'm just a devoted fan, like you and so many others. That said, I was very moved reading your post(s) above, and I think I can relate in some aspects. Hopefully I don't come across as too confusing, shallow, cliched, etc...

You're right in believing that everyone associates certain music to certain periods of their lives. I think it's something we all do to help with reminiscing (sp?) as a whole. For me, an example comparable to yours is listening to Queen during my own high school years. I'm not ashamed to admit that I was an introverted dork during my freshman and sophomore years, and songs like "Save Me", "Now I'm Here", and especially "Somebody to Love" did a lot to help me through that part of my life. When I listen to that band now at the tender age of 25 (going on 26 in a couple of months), I don't necessarily think of those years in high school immediately, but that kind of music does have a way of calming me on some subconcious level, I guess. Point being, I can completely understand you're own, unique connection to songs like "When You Dream", "Have You Seen My Love" (great, underrated song, that), and "Maybe Katie."

I more want to give my own thoughts on your second part where you mourn the loss of the BNL that once was. I think it's generally understood by the band, the fans, even the media that after a series of serious events - Ed's plane crash and mother dying, Steve's drug bust and departure from the band - the band needed to change. I think Ed even admitted that in one or two recent interviews; how there was a good year or so where he and the others seriously asked themselves 'Where do we go from here?' and generally if they even *could* continue to be the same BNL so many have loved and followed for so long. The obvious answer to that is no, but I don't believe that was an easy place to get to.

I know that you and many others are saddened that things can never go back to being the same for the band, but I ask you to be hopeful. It might be a bit of a longshot, but compare BNL to The Beatles in the sense that each band went through their own change in musical identity; perhaps All In Good Time is BNL's version of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Each band had a huge fan base that loved their music for what it was, and I'm sure there were some back in the day that questioned the change from "I Want to Hold Your Hand" to "A Day in the Life." This isn't to say that BNL will unquestionably enjoy the same musical growth that The Beatles did beginning with Pepper, but it is to say that, as you correctly said, change can be good. Your memories of the band in years past may be distant, but they will never go away as long as you don't let them, and because of that, you have a foundation to be hopeful about what the band as a whole becomes in this 'new chapter' they've deemed for themselves.

I'm sure that Ed, Jim, Kevin, and Tyler will continue to express themselves in the music they'll continue to create in the future. If I had to title this little diatribe of mine, I would come back to one word: hope. And I ask you to have that now. I know you said yourself that change doesn't have to be a bad thing, but your overall tone is that of mourning a loss. The music of the past will never be lost; history has a way of sealing an era, not erasing it. I ask you to continue being hopeful, and join myself and others in welcoming this new era for the Barenaked Ladies.

Hoping all of that came out ok,
-TM


Your post is very well stated. I can only move forward. They've given me memories that will last a lifetime.